I bought my first vibrator

I’m an adult. I have been one for years, like a few, like more than ten okay. So, I saw this post on this girl I follow on instagram and she had this tiny blue thing in her hands and below, on her caption, she explained about this vibe and I thought it was cute and I went to the link and started reading.

I have never been afraid of self-pleasure. Is healthy and without a male that owns a penis you have to get inventive, or watch porn, or read some smut or just start sending text messages to guys to see if there’s anyone that might take bait so you could like bang, get yours and block that number until you need him again.

A vibe, owing a vibe is different. You just have to charge it and then done. You’re ready.

But is not really like that. There are several circumstances that might have stopped you from getting one; from sharing your room to being afraid about self gratification can cause some some sort of fear to either get caught or foolishly believing god will punish you because you are having sex by yourself instead of sharing the cake with everyone else. Prevents you getting pregnant because well you’re doing it safe, unless you’re doing it wrong then in that case even I will judge you.

There are a few things one must consider before purchasing.

Since there are several different types of vibes you need to research and check which one would serve in you the best. The materials; some women are more sensitive to different materials, the purpose of the vibe is one main thing one should know. Vibes are for all women above the age of 18. I don’t want no police knocking at my door. Why I set the bar at 18, most girls would have lost their virginity at that age or are thinking about sex around this age. Let me tell you that I am trying to stay as PG as possible. I know what’s going on in the world and underage sex but lest continue pretending is only legal consenting adults out there getting some.

Going back aging to the purpose of the vibe. I mean theres’s the two categories I know. I hope that those are the only two. The ones you insert inside your vagina and the ones for the exterior, you know, clit action.

I started with the exterior one. Not that I would even dare since the thing is so damn small. I’m afraid it would get logged in there vibrating for hours and hours and I’d have to do the walk of shame to the ER and my scan ends up in the local news or some Instagram meme or Reddit page.

When I said research before I also want to include the Know How’s of the vibe.

These were a few things I learned after getting my friend and using it for the first few months. I was new to this so I had a few fails, and was finally able to get ‘there’.

  • First of all you need to be excited or aroused or horny because if you’re not is going to feel like hell.
  • Lube. Depends on the material the vibe is made off so read the box, go to the web page, call customer service or just head to pornhub.com and use your own.
  • If you are new to this Patience is the key. Trust me, is not the same manually than with a vibrating machine. Starting slow even if you don’t reach orgasm the first time is better than hurting yourself.
  • Some sensitivity may occur haver a long session, so take care of yourself.
  • If it’s too strong for you use it over your underwear.
  • Hygiene. Keep it on a safe spot. Not only covered from any dust or anything that might contaminate it. Remember this is going to touch you in the most sensitive place you own but that this place is prone to react. Also, wash your friend after each session. What if your man…. hell I don’t even want to go there.
  • Don’t just press it and leave there, experiment. Move it around, find out what works on you.
  • Long session might make it warm, if it’s too warm stop and test it on your inner arm. Imagine having to explain your doctor how you got that second degree burn in your vagina.
  • Be gentle. Even if you like it rough, star slow and then you can build up and get as rough as you want.
  • Some women like nipple play so it can be used as an all over the body toy. But again, if you’re not excited its only going to hurt.

Finally, I’m going to tell you about the one I got. Is called the PlusOne Vibrating Bullet and is pretty cheap, less than $10 US dollars.

Is 3 inches and has 10 speeds and modes. Is water proof, for some shower action but I prefer my bed. This is one strong bastard and the people that say it might be too loud, it only is if it’s not between your legs and is very faint the amount of sound this little guy is able to do.

I recommend it. Is easy to hide, fast to charge and fun to play with, and is so pretty. I give it 8/10 because I can’t be biased on the only vibe I have tried in my life. My only concern is the blue light, is too bright, if you’re trying to hide it while using it make sure the light is covered.


Oh and when you’re able to achieve orgasm on your own you feel like you can do anything in the world. Also helps with not being able to fall asleep and sadness.

We ain’t doing this from the gram

It’s been a while.

I think I always start that way but whatever. I have nothing to say, I mean nothing specific. Talking about myself is not as exciting and I really have nothing relevant to say but that I am working on myself.

I can account that I am going to the gym four days a week, and yes I know a person with my body weight should be going all five days but sometimes a person schedule doesn’t always allows them to do the thing they wish they could do. Which is my situation with work. I had wanted to feel this need to be at the gym and push myself and see results and feel strong. I haven’t seen like new muscles popping out of nowhere or like body definition but my face is slimmer, pants feel better and I don’t have a gut. Yes, you heard me I don’t have a gut. Not anymore.

I don’t have to suck in to put on pants and the ones, the new leggings I bought recently are starting to feel a little loose around the waist. Maybe is the elastic playing tricks on me, maybe the dryer loosened up the fibers and now is not as tight as before. I just don’t want to feel like I’m giving myself too much credit right now becuase I have done this before.  I have paid a person to train me and be with me while I work out, I have looked through IG acconts and found these women that inspire me to continue because once upon of time they were like me, struggling to be healthy.

I’m eating better. I have been able to suppress the need of sweets and when I lay down in bed and start dreaming about food and friend stuff I can control myself, drink a bit of water and turn my focus on something else. Even my body agress that oily food is bad, too much sugar and I feel like I’m going to die.

I’m not theere yet but I will be

That’s the goal.

Be a little healther a little defined, a smaller chest size and more body confidence.


“Fall in love with taking care of yourself. Mind. Body. Spirit.”

Let’s celebrate life

Welcome back! 

Yes, I am in fact welcoming my self back to freedom. And to this and to whoever reads my crap. 

I am weeks away from finishing up my thesis and even thought, even thought, I still have some points that I just got a notification from my professor that I must change or else I might not finish, I al taking a break before tackling that, which I knew that it was coming but I, like the moron I am sent it as it was because for some stupid reason I was hopeful it wasn’t necessary to add something I had done, I mean I have them and yet I did add them to the document I stupidly sent just minutes before the portal closed. 

It is a known fact, to at least the few that do know me that I am a professional procrastinator. And professional means that I am aware of my due date and I meet them but by the will of god, for some reason he still deals with my shit and helps whenever I can’t anymore. Like, right now I should be typing away the pieces that are missing from my investigation but still I am here, watching a youtube video and on the other side is my switch, I keep glancing towards it. I want to play, so bad. 

I tend to forget what I want to rant or ramble or confuse you about.

So let’s begin.

Yes, is ugly but that’s what not using a pen for a long while do to you.

Oh well I already covered the first thing but barely. 

As of right now I have like three documents opened, all three about all the things I was able to come up and then the investigation to back it up and then the graphics and tables and costs. Everything is mostly done is just me that needs to tie everything together and give it sense and then print it and deliver it to my teacher. Sound simple and it is but when ones mind blocks because you cannot find the right word to connect what you are trying to say, well is all downhill but I’m getting there, and I will celebrate like the single grown up I am, cider and porn.

I made a bad decision today. I went out grocery shopping at rush hour but my excuse is that, I didn’t know it was 5 PM. I had been laying down “reading” and then I suddenly decided that I needed to start eating healthy. My reflection these days is not looking good, I have more than a belly, love handles and extra everywhere. I mean I spilling out of my bras. Is disgusting, not about being fat, just that I know I can control myself and that is unhealthy to be gaining weight the way am. I’m  scared that one day I’ll woke up and it’ll be too late.

Theres this new boy. Super cute and so white, I tease him about it. I am not white, I’m black, light skinned. He’s super sweet, at least he is now. I mean you never know with long distance flings, right?

He’s different, I mean, I’m not sure yet. We talk a lot and he’s not like all the other dudes but I think is mostly me that’s not letting, my brain I mean. I’m not allowing me to get excited about it. I mean I do like his face, a lot! He’s too cute! And so nerdy. Which is cool, cause I happen to be a nerd about some things, but he’s extra nerdy. I’m fine with that and hopefully it can go to more that mutual interest and maybe sex, oral sex and vaginal sex, hell the whole coitus thing.

Finally, I’m going to paste a few pictures here. I was adventuring for a few days in New York and took a bunch of pictures. Amaize yourself. None include my face tho.

I think I’ll save the rest to talk about my trip to NY and NJ.

I drive myself places

I didn’t hate it at the beginning. It happened two years after I was able to pass through both written and practice exam, so we could say that I had some experience. I had this car in college, a Toyota Camry, one of those big ones and for some reason after taking it to the mechanic it was really fast, like it responded really quick so I used to to driven up to 100 mph, or kph? I’m not sure, is one of the two.

It would be nice if I never had to drive. I really hate it and something that I learned how to do because is a necessity and you really need to have four wheels to go somewhere or Über will eat up your paycheck.

I didn’t hate it at the beginning. It happened two years after I was able to pass through both written and practice exam, so we could say that I had some experience. I had this car in college, a Toyota Camry, one of those big ones and for some reason after taking it to the mechanic it was really fast, like it responded really quick so I used to to driven up to 100 mph, or kph? I’m not sure, is one of the two.

The cause of all my troubles happened at 1:00 AM. I was waiting for the green line on an intersection and all of the sudden I crashed against this truck.

No, it wasn’t my fault!

The dude went on red, and got a big dent on his side. And also escaped the scene. I still lived with parents back then, still do now so I have no clue why I had to mention the fact that I’m still poor and I can’t afford to live alone. 

So I’m bawling my eyes out, crying like I just crashed my dad’s car and looking frantically for my phone that had slipped under my seat. My left knee throbbed and my parents hadn’t still picked up. A few guys saw the whole thing and came to my help, had me move my car and calmed me down until my dad returned my call. 

Tow truck and all, the car was dragged all the way to my home. my dad made me move his other car and I did while tears rolled down my face. To this day I still cringe when I remember how it happened, the sound and the fact that the dude that was ridding with me is still alive, happily married btw. I’m glad I forced him to wear the damn seatbelt. Hell, I don’t even move if you don’t put that damn thing on. 

Now of course I went to the police the next day and we had insurance and my leg did bruised and hurt for a couple of days but nothing major. The car was fixed, if I could describe how bad it looked it was like an old man without teeth. Poor baby.

I may sound like a pussy after saying it but im actually I was scarred for life. For years I had to talk myself into grabbing the keys and going to places, like the supermarket or get food to eat. I got head aches and whenever someone talked about me driving I felt like my stomach summersaulted and my heart stopped spending oxygenated blood to my brain. Brain damage and all I tried, I lied a couple of times saying I couldn’t drive at time. Since I wear glasses to drive, a necessity I hate, I would say that the lights of the other cars blinded me. 

I still have a tiny bit of fear when it comes to driving but I have become more comfortable and im able to drive longer distances and also I don’t stick to main roads, I follow some routes suggested by Waze. 

like today; that bitch took me through all the back alleys unknown to the normal human.

But I drive now.

Why do we smell?

The beginning of November marks the end, I hope, of something I have been doing wrong for the last month.

You see, I understand how disgusting the human body is. All we see on TV, movies and magazines is not what is actually is. I mean come on, let’s start with our morning breath, it doesn’t matter how well you brush your teeth or how rough you are or the use of floss and mouth wash it still awful the next morning, some worse than others. We all secret and discharge and are disgustingly beautiful on the inside.

We are basically full of shit 24/7 and as much as pretty girls would like to make it seem differently they often take a dump just like you do. They even look when they wipe. I know, I know is a little disgusting and you may have probably stopped reading by now but we have to accept that we are all dis-fuckig-gusting. 

I could name different things our bodies do and you could google them and we would never ever be friends after that, you’d hate me. Hell you’d sue me because you’d be scarred for life.

Now back to my issue.

Let me explain you a little bit about my ritual, or some part of it. Once I get home from work I shower with warm soapy water and then I proceed to use body cream, sometimes scented sometimes I skip it, it all the depends on my mood. I also have the tendency of skipping deodorant at home. I don’t need it and I hardly ever sweat and that’s where I want I focus. Skipping has been becoming a habit and since I use layers and layers of clothing both work and daily life. I like jackets and cardigans because for some reason I am always cold. Now picture me working for 8 to 9 straight hours and then picture me skipping the damn deodorant.

Chaos.

I don’t know why my body at times like these betrays me. In a temperature controlled environment where I hardly do any heavy lifting, maybe stress could trigger some sweating but not the amount necessary to feel like I have a cascade running down my armpits. Which is what I normally feel or have been feeling every single time my stupid brain decides to tell I have sprayed it all over my silly smelly old ass pits when I haven’t.

I get so enraged every single time this happens. I’m like “seriously bitch, again?” like life teaches you to learn of your mistakes and this one keeps repeating nonstop and every single time I have to sit stupidly straight, being careful not to move my arms away from the sides of my body, use only elbow to wrist movements and pray to Jesus that the air doesn’t drag my natural human odor to the person next to me.

I just wish that at least something in our lives was perfect.

 Body odor sucks


There wasn't a single picture that was relatable enough to add to this entry. I was thinking about buying an iPad and draw my own images. I wish I could add a donate button, if you're interested in giving me your money let me know.

Irrelevant

Someone asked me what I blog about and I haven’t replied.

I wanted to come up with some sort of witty line that might make me sound interesting. Is not that I’m not but I’m not as self-centered or gullible enough to believe that I’m relevant in the blogging world when I’m able to see the daily statistics, and you can’t have big numbers when you update things that people don’t like or aren’t relevant to them. Like my last post, already deleted. It didn’t catch any attention, so is a draft for now or forever.

The answer is me. I write about what bothers me, what annoys me, what keeps me up at night. I’m sure that most newbies do that or not. I’m not sure. I haven’t been an avid blog follower, I don’t stick up on to an only thing. If is not a book I don’t think I will keep focus because I get distracted easily, even more when is something that is above 500 words.

Like I could write about the fact that I came to an empty classroom to write a post about, well me, and a lady came in and said hello. I said hello back, even thought I didn’t want her to come in I can’t tell her to get out. she has as much right as I me to be here but then after she came in another one entered and they started chatting. Loudly.  Now, there are four of them and they keep complaining about the fact that their teacher is being an asshole, one of them is threatening to drop out if the she can’t meet up his demands and now the clicking of a mouse is driving me insane. Even with headphones on and Demi Lovato crying about love I’m able to listen to them.

adult art conceptual darkI’m annoyed.

I have never understood why people, random people that I don’t know are able to get me to this level. By level I mean wanting to take out their eyeballs with a plastic spoon.

Maybe is the fact that most won’t care that their voice tone is too loud, that their comments are rude and that the sound of their voice is not a pleasant one. The millions of possibilities a person can annoy me, annoys me. Wow, that one made me smile.

I guess I’m just moody today. I wasn’t this morning. Maybe being take out of my perfect cocoon made the chemical leves in my brain jump from one lobe to the other and here we are, me venting out to strangers about strangers giving me hives. Not even the song Boston by Agustana is able to help soothe this disgusted-annoyed feeling.

I need carbs.

The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

I may be a little late into the Remake of Sabrina review, but should we call it a remake? I mean is nothing similar to the old Melissa Joan Hart bubble gum and pink rainbow witch world aired in 1996.

CAOS

I should know since had been watching Melissa Joan Hart since Clarissa Explains it All, you know, back then when TV shows weren’t over produced, teenagers played teenagers and all was good back then, I mean my only worry was that I had to do homework and wash behind my ears.

Being a sucker for darker shows like Penny Dreadful, The Walking Dead, anything with vampire and witches and the supernatural, but not the show Supernatural, for some reason it hasn’t been my kind of thing, well probably the fact that anything it it scared me easy. I even tried season one but can’t even remember what happened on the last episode I watch, someone got possessed but that’s what happens most of the time there, right? The weird and out of the norm has been my thing so when I found out that this new Sabrina would be nothing like the old show I got interested and googled a little bit about the new plot.

Is a 60% based, at least the first season, on the firsts volumes of the comic of the same name of the show by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa. And why 60%? Well, if you go after this point I have to warn you about the spoilers coming ahead.

This is what I knew about the plot when I read the first volume of the comic:

Resultado de imagen para chilling adventures of sabrina comic
  • Sabrina hair is already white.
  • Harvey Kinkle is not her boyfriend but her love interest, he falls for her after a love potion is made.
  • There’s no weird sisters on Vol. 1
  • Sabrina’s mother is not death but in an asylum, her father burned the side of  her face and made her crazy because she threatened him to reveal to the world what he was.
  • The aunts said something about fixing Sabrina’s mother up, about her not being able to get pregnant.
  • Sabrina and her aunts move to Greendale after she’s bullied at witch school.
  • Sabrina’s father is a tree or trapped inside one.
  • Salem is already there and talks, I think.
  • Two girls summon a sucubbus and it turns out to be an old lover of Edward Spellman.
  • On some Youtube videos I saw that Harvey is not really Harvey but Edward Spellman, reincarnated or whatever.

Now the show is slightly different.

The show is set on the town of Greendale, just next door of Riverdale across the Sweetwater river. The same one where the Blossom twins first appeared on season one of Riverdale. That’s right the town where Veronica, Archie, Betty and Jug live. So we have them set in the same universe, no clue what sort of name it has, maybe the Archie universe.

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Sabrina lives with both her aunts Hilda and Zelda Spellman, and cousin Ambrose and has known she’s half witch half human all her life. Her 16 birthday is coming soon, which exactly falls on the 31 of October, on a blood moon day and all Hollows Eve. The perfect setting to sign your name away to the Devil and get imaginable powers. But she already has powers right? She’s a witch. She’s able to say some spells and charms so why must she sign it to get it unlocked? Well, apparently the Devil himself is the one that grants you that the second you finish writing in his big book of names with your own blood and you must do so willingly or else.

All throughout episodes 1-9 we watch as Sabrina struggles to find out a valid reason to give herself away to this world he has been pushing away from. Knowing it exist but not fully grasping the reality. Sabrina loves both of her worlds, human and supernatural. Even more with her boyfriend Harvey Kinkle, her friends and her free will.

Salem is a goblin that took a cat form, instead of adopting a familiar Sabrina called a spirit in the woods that would be wiling to protect her and she would protect him.

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You see, once you sign your name you become more powerful but also it means you will have to serve him, The Devil, and follow his rules, there’s no going back. Father Blackwood tries to explain how delicious living in the darkness is, tries to lure her right until her dark baptism, the word he uses aren’t the same ones that Sabrina heard him say to her. He lied so she refuses to continue and runs away. After that a lot happens, there’s a trial to which as punishment for Sabrina’s refusal both aunts are ripped from their power and start to age rapidly, first sign is Hilda’s tooth falling out of her mouth, their skin turns white and hard like parchment and the once lustrous hair turns thin and greym, pergamin like. At the end there’s an agreement, she can live both lives, go to school with the humans but also take some clases with the rest of the young witches and warlocks at the Academy of Unseen Arts.

All of this happens just because there’s some kind of prophesy around Sabrina, at least that’s what Madame Satan says at the very end of the comics or was it Father Blackwood that said it? At this point nothing is sure, all we know as the episode continue is that she’s the daughter of the previous Priest of the Dark Church, Edward Spellman, according to a lot of the congregation he was very powerful and respected until he married a human woman, the union was permitted and blessed by the Dark Lord himself. I’m assuming it was because of the prophesy but since I only read Volumen 1 of the on going comics the chances are huge.

At the end Sabrina is forced to sign her name away by the very end of episode 10, IMDB says they were 20 but I just confirmed with Netflix, and there are 10.  Mary Wardell or Madame Satan calls the 13 witches that were hanged on the same three Sabrina ate that apple that showed her weird red images about rotten corpses swinging in the air by their necks. The Devil himself attends her second Dark Baptism, which happens to be at the best time of the day or night it this case; The Witching Hour that happens between 2 and 4 am, 3 being the highest peak.

We see how truly powerful she is, casting hell fire and burning the all of the witches, which is advance magic for a 16 yearly half-witch. As the slay of the 13 witches happens Sabrina’s hair turns white. Maybe her hair turning white is a a sign of what is to come, how powerful she truly is or will be.

By the end we see white haired Sabrina walking along side the Prudence and her sisters, she’s one of them now, probably more powerful than the three.

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If I would continue to write about every single thing then I wouldn't be able to finish. There's a lot of details and things that are relevant to this story and I see why they changed so much. I like the show version, and that is dark and full of things that you don't see in other shows.

Has the same air that Hemlock Grove had at the beginning, even knowing the story and reading the book didn’t really prepare me for what it was going to be like when they put what I imagined on the screen. They have to set to be appealing, draw people in. Yes, I cringed here and there, and the episode with the possession had me awake for a couple of hours at night but aside from that I truly enjoyed it.

The good thing is that Netflix ordered a second season and that means that 2019 is bringing a lot of good stuff; Game of Thrones, Stranger Things, A discovery of Witches and The Chilling adventures of Sabrina, and those are just shows don’t get me started on upcoming movies.

I plan on doing a review or review on both the book and the show of A discovery of Witches, recently discovered and loved it with passion but that is for another blog.

Great casting, Kiernan Shipka makes an excellent Sabrina and give this show a hundred stars.


Side note: this was written out of memory, any detail gotten wrong was because of the lack on information on the web since the show is rather new and hasn’t been dissected enough.