Let’s celebrate life

Welcome back! 

Yes, I am in fact welcoming my self back to freedom. And to this and to whoever reads my crap. 

I am weeks away from finishing up my thesis and even thought, even thought, I still have some points that I just got a notification from my professor that I must change or else I might not finish, I al taking a break before tackling that, which I knew that it was coming but I, like the moron I am sent it as it was because for some stupid reason I was hopeful it wasn’t necessary to add something I had done, I mean I have them and yet I did add them to the document I stupidly sent just minutes before the portal closed. 

It is a known fact, to at least the few that do know me that I am a professional procrastinator. And professional means that I am aware of my due date and I meet them but by the will of god, for some reason he still deals with my shit and helps whenever I can’t anymore. Like, right now I should be typing away the pieces that are missing from my investigation but still I am here, watching a youtube video and on the other side is my switch, I keep glancing towards it. I want to play, so bad. 

I tend to forget what I want to rant or ramble or confuse you about.

So let’s begin.

Yes, is ugly but that’s what not using a pen for a long while do to you.

Oh well I already covered the first thing but barely. 

As of right now I have like three documents opened, all three about all the things I was able to come up and then the investigation to back it up and then the graphics and tables and costs. Everything is mostly done is just me that needs to tie everything together and give it sense and then print it and deliver it to my teacher. Sound simple and it is but when ones mind blocks because you cannot find the right word to connect what you are trying to say, well is all downhill but I’m getting there, and I will celebrate like the single grown up I am, cider and porn.

I made a bad decision today. I went out grocery shopping at rush hour but my excuse is that, I didn’t know it was 5 PM. I had been laying down “reading” and then I suddenly decided that I needed to start eating healthy. My reflection these days is not looking good, I have more than a belly, love handles and extra everywhere. I mean I spilling out of my bras. Is disgusting, not about being fat, just that I know I can control myself and that is unhealthy to be gaining weight the way am. I’m  scared that one day I’ll woke up and it’ll be too late.

Theres this new boy. Super cute and so white, I tease him about it. I am not white, I’m black, light skinned. He’s super sweet, at least he is now. I mean you never know with long distance flings, right?

He’s different, I mean, I’m not sure yet. We talk a lot and he’s not like all the other dudes but I think is mostly me that’s not letting, my brain I mean. I’m not allowing me to get excited about it. I mean I do like his face, a lot! He’s too cute! And so nerdy. Which is cool, cause I happen to be a nerd about some things, but he’s extra nerdy. I’m fine with that and hopefully it can go to more that mutual interest and maybe sex, oral sex and vaginal sex, hell the whole coitus thing.

Finally, I’m going to paste a few pictures here. I was adventuring for a few days in New York and took a bunch of pictures. Amaize yourself. None include my face tho.

I think I’ll save the rest to talk about my trip to NY and NJ.

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Consensual torture

Females should get an award for all the things we go thought to be pretty, to get pretty.

I think I may have forgotten the pain that comes with waxing, it had been years since the last time someone came so close to my armpit. No one has been this close before, and I’m talking about asian porn close. Don’t ask me just go with it, if you don’t know well good for you or too bad.

First is really uncomfortable because the armpits is the part of the body that only gets touched by the owner of it, never by the other person unless is a child that’s getting a bath and still, after a while the child learns and is over. Is a very tender and private, and with puberty comes body hair and then body odor, which is normal and thanks to showers, bath and deodorant we are able to disguise it with paste or aerosol packed with chemicals that does something and instead of sweat smells like flowers.

Is there some tutorial or Knowhow that tells you what you should do before waxing besides taking a bath and applying minimal deodorant?

I’m pretty sure there is but, at my age, which I am not revealing. I’m old enough for most things, okay, I’m an adult with responsibilities and bills and all that crap. Like I was saying, there are things that I should have knowing before walking in. I have to say before I continued that I Waxed for the first time at home. A horrible experiment I know and the way I did it. Well, it was nothing close to what this lady did.

All that has body hair gets ingrown hair. Even eyelashes and eyebrows do it, because they say fuck you I’m not doing it your way, I don’t want to be outside so they curb inwards and fuck up your life. That’s what a lot of my stupid hair did and since the wax wouldn’t or couldn’t take care of it the only way to go was the use of a nipper. That shit hurts.

Getting all or a bunch of hairs pulled out in cold blood after being smeared with hot-warm wax on a very sensitive part of your body hurts less that one single stubborn hair. And after you are laying there she rubs you this aloe combination thing that for some reason itches like crazy but you say nothing because you’re going to take it like the woman you are but plan to write about it later and vent to strangers online. Also, I was sweating like crazy.

Pain makes me sweat.

And the this idea came to me about hardcore sex. I know, where the mind wonders when you are horizontal getting tortured. I thought of BDSM and do they sweat when you know, they are getting hard core. Man, my hands were almost dripping and it wasn't that bad the people that take part on scenes must shed pounds of liquid all over or maybe that's just me.

Konundrum

I’m pretty sure I can talk about it since is an issue that they wouldn’t even imagine that is me.

You may be a little bit confused now but when I explain it a little bit then maybe you can understand, while Jack Johnson sings about Pancakes I will tell you about it.

I write. 

Besides this sporadic type of blog on my free time and I am having my spurs of creativity I pour my soul into word documents. I write about pretty girls and handsome guys that have some sort issues, first world problems that can be solved without Thanos having to appear out of thin air and snap his fingers.

My stories are above all my own fantasies, well most of them. I can’t possibly write about what appeals me most of the time, people would think I’m sick or maybe not. I sometimes worry too much about what people would think of me but that is another story for some other time. Now what I was referring to is that I was contacted a while ago by some online publishing web page or whateveryounaycallit and they are interested in one, or the only one present on the page right now. I have wanted for a while for someone to take notice and now that they have I feel like my baby is being taken away from me.

That and me having some plans with it. I wanted to send my manuscript to this publisher house but to do that I have to edit and also do this covet letter or some sort of letter telling them why my story should be taken by them.

I felt pressured reading all they asked me to have on that letter, all the requirements. I know I can do it, I’m sure I can. I just have to do it, which is the problem. I have the editors name that I have to direct the letter to, her name has been sitting on my desktop for weeks now. is a matter of decision and also, is like what if she doesn’t pick me? and then what if she does? is too much I need Jesus.

Now, if I do take the offer of the people that contacted me I must say goodbye to the publishing rights online, or so I read. I am in no condition on evaluating the example of their contract, is late and is better to tackle that with a cool head and sleep and rest.

I do know that this is a chance I’m getting, the first one but then what if this editor does pick me.

Idk what to do…

Resultado de imagen para red pill

Is this what Neo felt like when Morpheous made him choose?

I’m not a hugger

I don’t know if I have talked about this here.

I may have but since I don’t keep track of what I write about here or anywhere else, to me is like an open conversation where I’m the only one talking. Okay, so a monologue. Sometimes a really short one and on some occasions I ramble out of control mashing up things. inexplicable things that make sense when you know me or if you are me.

The value of personal space to me is like a lot. I put it above everything else. Like you not are allowed to be inside the imaginary circle I’m able to draw around my body by extending my arms unless I say so. That’s as much as any stranger needs and people that I dislike, because hate is a strong word. Also, people I know fall outside that circle just because we aren’t cool like that and the last cool person in my life left me for a better job.

I have this issue with personal space ever since I can remember and if you, as person that has known me for a while might notice my quirks. there are several but on this particular post I’m only going to focus on the no touching rule. If I can.

adult boy break browsing

Is not that I hate the touch of another human being. I’m totally fine with some members of my family, some people that I’ve known from years and sometimes there this particular individual that I might just feel close to right away. Of course, there’s the state of humor I am. Being a volatile person and moody. An argument or simply feeling down may trigger that part in me that feels disgusted when touched. I am aware that in the environment I work in most of the time I’m going to have to touch or be touched, but that’s one of the things that has helped me. Is not always, I’m not feeling like I want to barf every single time one person grabs my arm or brushes against me. Is way more than that.

What happens, the way I react is something I cannot control and I’m very verbal about it. I tell people that I know are going to stay a while in my life what to expect of me and the many ways I can react. One of the reasons is that sometimes people are more sensitive than others and my reaction may make them feel some sort of way and even hurt them. People seem thrown of when I tell them about not liking to exchange hugs. I do hug but I don’t just give them away.

Like why should I? 

If there was a valid reason for me to be hugging people left and right I would consider it, in the mean time I decided who and when to hug.

To me touching is something personal. Intimate even. Words are what can pull two people together but when the right person touches you, your body, brain and soul react. Now imagine having the opposite reaction; disgust, gagging and feeling dirty.

I cringe when sometimes this particular girl at my job links arms with me, I try. I really try not to let I show and rapidly look for a way to get as much distance as possible. if I don’t I feel like I might die of something, no kidding but I feel as if I can’t breathe. imagine what was it like when I took the bus for college or being seated between two people on a plane. noise cancelling headphones, books and other various gadgets are used to pull me outside my body. The use of long sleeves has proven to have some positive effect. the feel of skin over skin makes uncomfortable. Obviously, that there is a parenthesis when a SO is involved.