The beginning of November marks the end, I hope, of something I have been doing wrong for the last month.
You see, I understand how disgusting the human body is. All we see on TV, movies and magazines is not what is actually is. I mean come on, let’s start with our morning breath, it doesn’t matter how well you brush your teeth or how rough you are or the use of floss and mouth wash it still awful the next morning, some worse than others. We all secret and discharge and are disgustingly beautiful on the inside.
We are basically full of shit 24/7 and as much as pretty girls would like to make it seem differently they often take a dump just like you do. They even look when they wipe. I know, I know is a little disgusting and you may have probably stopped reading by now but we have to accept that we are all dis-fuckig-gusting.
I could name different things our bodies do and you could google them and we would never ever be friends after that, you’d hate me. Hell you’d sue me because you’d be scarred for life.
Now back to my issue.
Let me explain you a little bit about my ritual, or some part of it. Once I get home from work I shower with warm soapy water and then I proceed to use body cream, sometimes scented sometimes I skip it, it all the depends on my mood. I also have the tendency of skipping deodorant at home. I don’t need it and I hardly ever sweat and that’s where I want I focus. Skipping has been becoming a habit and since I use layers and layers of clothing both work and daily life. I like jackets and cardigans because for some reason I am always cold. Now picture me working for 8 to 9 straight hours and then picture me skipping the damn deodorant.
I don’t know why my body at times like these betrays me. In a temperature controlled environment where I hardly do any heavy lifting, maybe stress could trigger some sweating but not the amount necessary to feel like I have a cascade running down my armpits. Which is what I normally feel or have been feeling every single time my stupid brain decides to tell I have sprayed it all over my silly smelly old ass pits when I haven’t.
I get so enraged every single time this happens. I’m like “seriously bitch, again?” like life teaches you to learn of your mistakes and this one keeps repeating nonstop and every single time I have to sit stupidly straight, being careful not to move my arms away from the sides of my body, use only elbow to wrist movements and pray to Jesus that the air doesn’t drag my natural human odor to the person next to me.
I just wish that at least something in our lives was perfect.
Body odor sucks
There wasn't a single picture that was relatable enough to add to this entry. I was thinking about buying an iPad and draw my own images. I wish I could add a donate button, if you're interested in giving me your money let me know.